And in that moment, I swear we were infinite.

Compassion. I learned that word when I was nine years old. I still remember it was when I attended a Tzu Chi camp over the summer. When I started practicing it, well, that's a story for another day.

I came back from camp in Hualien today. We had to stay an extra day because of the typhoon, but I'm really happy we got to stay longer. I cannot convey to you in words how content I feel at this moment. I'm infinite. I only hope this feeling doesn't go away. I don't know why, but I always feel so happy when I'm at camp. If only everyday were like camp. I'd never want to leave. With all these friends by my side, people I'm proud to call my family, I am so grateful. Everything is so easy there. It's simple. For me, Hualien is utopia. When you want to hold somebody's hand, you just have to reach out and grab it. When you want a hug, all you have to do is ask for one. You can feel a love so strong and a bond that's unbreakable because of what's or should I say who that is holding it all together. That's what it's like there. Perfection. I just want to exist within this world and not leave my little bubble. I've never been a fan of reality. Dreams were made for people like me.

It was my fifth time back in Hualien. I've only been in Tzu Ching for a year. My first event was last year's spiritual camp which my family encouraged me to attend. I've always been a rebel. I even shaved my head last year and had Master Cheng Yen touch it. After that camp though, I turned a complete 180. All I needed was a push in the right direction. The love and care I felt from everybody was enough to change me for good. I swore I would follow Master Cheng Yen's footsteps and walk down the Tzu Chi path.

Coming back to the officer camp, I saw a lot of friends I met from previous camps. Watching them learn and grow, I am really so proud of them. I've seen them start from being my fellow campers to being officers and camp counselors. I'm proud of myself too for what I've accomplished in such a short time. I took the position of Vice President of San Dimas, but I gave that up in search of something better, the best version of myself. I think I've found it here. I went from being somebody who easily gets mad to someone who is softspoken and tender.

I really think Taiwan Tzu Ching are so lucky because of where they live. They are close enough to Hualien and Master Cheng Yen, whereas American Tzu Ching have to get a job or beg their parents for money to fly to Taiwan. I'm so grateful to my mom for letting me once again come back to Taiwan and attend the camps. I'm grateful to my family members for opening the door to Tzu Chi for me, even though it took me nine years to step inside. I've known Tzu Chi for the majority of my life and I realize how lucky I am. I'm grateful to Master Cheng Yen for singlehandedly building Tzu Chi from the ground up. Without her, there would not be Tzu Chi and without Tzu Chi, well, this version of me would not exist. I would never have experienced friendship, love, great love and small love, and the feeling of family. I've finally found the place where I belong. Without Tzu Chi, I would not have any direction in life. I am going to do Tzu Chi forever because Tzu Chi is our only direction. This is my promise.

This time around I've come back stronger than I ever was. I'm independent and I don't need to rely on anybody else. These past few days have made me realize that I don't need you as much as I thought I did. Out of sight, out of mind. I had three important phone calls today. First, I called my friend who went to camp with me and told me to call her when I got back to Taipei. She wrote me a card and told me I was her favourite overseas Tzu Ching. I see her at every camp. She held my hand when I was sad that I didn't get to see Master Cheng Yen. When I talk to her, I'm so happy. She tells me exactly what's on her mind. She's not afraid to say those three words she's thinking. She's taking a train to see me in three days. She is also the person I've known the longest out of all three. The way she fits in my arms when I hold her is perfect. Second, after not picking up my calls for days, another friend tells me to call her when I get back. She doesn't even remember when I said I would be back even though I've told her repeatedly. I didn't even know if we were still friends. We've had our happy moments, but it seems lately our fragile relationship is spiraling downward. She doesn't have time for me anymore and I hate how insecure I am with her. She makes me miserable sometimes. She says she cares, but she doesn't show it... often. She seems like she doesn't like hugs. Third, another friend calls me and invites me to go swimming and go to dinner with her. She remembered when I was coming back from camp even though I've only told her once. She's a beauty queen of only 18. She's not a Tzu Ching. We're too awkward for hugs. As for who treats me better, well, isn't it obvious?