My life is so hard!

Nobody told me about Malaysia Airline's $427 L.A. to Taipei round trip plane ticket deal. I'm broke as a joke. Everyone is going back to Taiwan this month, especially those who already went in December. It's not fair. I won't get to go to my cousin's school carnival. I won't be able to go to Spring Scream in Kenting. I won't see Bobo the stripper. I won't get to see Molly and get my present and give her hers. I won't be able to see A-Mei and give her another kiss on the cheek. I won't be able to go to her concert or her after party and drink with her and her agents. I'll be letting down everyone I promised I would come back to see in March. Three months is too long.